Okay - first time I have ever done this (posting a comment). Single mom of 10 yr old boy, 9 yr old girl. No financial or family support, dad is abusive alcoholic, he still sees the kids intermittently and I wrestle with whether or not that is a wise decision on my part. (he becomes verbally abusive in front of them frequently when he is here - i don't let them go to his place (dump)so 3 out of 4 times we see him I have to ask him to leave)ANYWAY - I couldn't agree more about relating to my son on his own terms.We seem to be breaking all the sterotypes. My little guy is happy, engaged, a great student, involved in sports, many friends and a terrific son. I think it is because I have spent alot of time wading in swamps, catching crayfish, learning how to play baseball, have lots of kids related parties at my house, volunteering with them. I will admit that i have molded my entire life around single parenting. Quit my professional job to work at home so they could come home after school, run a brownie troop for my daugher and am manager for my son's baseball league. I have no life of my own, no dating, don't want it, but wonder if that is bad too. Also live in a suburb with very few single parents and have sometimes felt very isolated and maybe even scorned a bit (so 1950's), but I laugh even louder and cheer even more on the sidelines when i feel that way. I pray that he will grow into a man who will honor and respect women, children and the family. I won't know for years. I am very nervous about puberty. Mostly what I need is other parents, probably moms, who can share in some of my anxiety and that I can talk with.
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Horray for you mom. Your kids will appreciate the time they have with you. But I have to comment on your choosing to denie yourself. Your kids need to see you as a whole person. They will be much better off in the long wrong if they can see a woman as a whole person not a partial being that only dedicates herself to them. Your son may grow up and see his wife that way or your daughter may grow up to think it's okay to put her needs and gifts a side just to raise a family. "Balance is key". They will love you because you are a good mom. So have some fun!
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