Monday, May 22, 2006

Look forward to hearing from other Moms of this

I endorse anything that gets the word out about the importance of promoting boys to be boys and connect to each other on their own turf. Being a father figure or male influence is a gift to a boy and it's really important not to return that gift hastily. Alot of single moms start out confused and fall back on molding their sons into what they hope them to be instead of working with what they are. I fell into that trap myself and I got zapped bad.

I've seen many a good dad sit down, bite the bullet and race Barbie around in her pink vette for their daughters, I see no reason why moms need not meet their boys on their turf as well. I think it's the number one reason why discipline is always a top complaint of single moms of sons. A boy will only give respect where its earned. The key to earning it is playing on their field and playing well. Tired single mom or not it's more tiring not to do it. The results I got were almost immediate.

Mom of a boy.

Single Mother's (Single Parent) Raising Sons:


Red Sox said...

Okay - first time I have ever done this (posting a comment). Single mom of 10 yr old boy, 9 yr old girl. No financial or family support, dad is abusive alcoholic, he still sees the kids intermittently and I wrestle with whether or not that is a wise decision on my part. (he becomes verbally abusive in front of them frequently when he is here - i don't let them go to his place (dump)so 3 out of 4 times we see him I have to ask him to leave)

ANYWAY - I couldn't agree more about relating to my son on his own terms.

We seem to be breaking all the sterotypes. My little guy is happy, engaged, a great student, involved in sports, many friends and a terrific son. I think it is because I have spent alot of time wading in swamps, catching crayfish, learning how to play baseball, have lots of kids related parties at my house, volunteering with them.

I will admit that i have molded my entire life around single parenting. Quit my professional job to work at home so they could come home after school, run a brownie troop for my daugher and am manager for my son's baseball league. I have no life of my own, no dating, don't want it, but wonder if that is bad too. Also live in a suburb with very few single parents and have sometimes felt very isolated and maybe even scorned a bit (so 1950's), but I laugh even louder and cheer even more on the sidelines when i feel that way.

I pray that he will grow into a man who will honor and respect women, children and the family. I won't know for years. I am very nervous about puberty. Mostly what I need is other parents, probably moms, who can share in some of my anxiety and that I can talk with.

Martin Brossman said...

Thank you for posting to the group. It is a new group and it may take a little time to get a reply. My heart goes out to you. What a great effort.

Are their any men in this life? Like a coach, uncle, etc.? Boys can get 'father energy' from many men. Does he show a ‘hunger’ for it. You will notice it for how his attention is drawn to men when they are around. Single mothers talking about how their son will try to turn the Plummer into a dad.. That sort of thing?

Again, what a great job you are doing and ask that anyone reading will reach out to you with comments.

I don’t have all the answers but do realize how important the discussion and the question is!

Thanks again!

Martin Brossman said...

I have reposted this in the main blog area so someone may see and respond to it.