Anonymous said...Hello. I am a single parent of a 6year old boy. I am not with his father and my son and his father do not have any contact. That in itself presents other problems that I am just starting to recognize and deal with and I can discuss those at a later time. However, I would like to comment on the two mom's that are having discipline problems with their sons. First as women and mothers - we talk TOO much. We try an negotiate and let our children run our lives and we tend to reward bad behavior. What ever you say you are going to do you have to follow through. A male friend of mine game me some wonderful advice. He said, I tell my son the cause and effect of his actions. If he does this - then I will do that. Period and then I follow through and do it. In regards to the 17 years old - he is almost grown now. However, there is NO way I'm going to pay for food, housing, clothing, etc and have a bad kid running my house and I am especially not going to be afraid in my own house. Little boys turn into men. Little boys and teenages try to see just how far they can go. At some point - mother of the 17 year old - your son is going to hit you. You still may be able to get your leverage back. Stop buying food, stop buying clothes, stop arguing - get on the defensive. Why are you afaid in your own house? You wouldn't let a stranger just up and walk in your house and take it over - why are you letting your son do it. Say what you mean and do it. To the mother of the 7 year old - if you are having problems know what are you going to do when he is big enough to hit you. You can take control back too by saying what you mean and following through. You have to be consistent. No is No. In the old days - parents discliplined their children - now parents want to be friends with their kids. Guess what - you cannot be friends with your children. You are their protectors, their providers, and we love them - but we cannot be their friends - it does not work as you can see. Finally, I feel that my ultimate responsibility with my son is to raise a son that is spiritual and knows God, that is mannerable and to provide him with the best education and social situations so that he can grow into a good man that is worthy to take a wife and raise a family. How we raise our sons has the potential of affecting generations after generations. Remember - that men that have bad relationships with their mothers tend to have bad relationships with women in general. So now is the time for you to suck it up, stop talking and do what you say you are going to do. You are the parent, and your child is exactly that - a child. Treat them like a child. For the mom of the 7 year old - you do not let your son hit you even for play. That is definitely something that is not to be tolerated.
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